Merlin Where The Hell Have You Been?
by ypput
Summary: Set just after Episode 13 - Merlin returns from his trip to the Isle of the Blessed, but will Arthur be please to see him? ...And who is Cedric? My first fan fic - Hope you like it
1. Chapter 1

The clatter of horses hooves as they struck cobbles was a stark contrast to the steady, drumming, rhythm that had played through Merlin's mind as his horse had cantered over the rough and wild grasslands that carpeted the many lonely moors and meadows he had crossed. They had ridden slowly, pausing once or twice at the few small villages they had come across. At first the inhabitants had seemed suspicious of them; and no one could blame them. Merlin's clothes were ripped and tattered, smeared in mud; and if anyone made a closer inspected they would also note, burnt.

Gaius by comparison looked relatively crisp and clean; it was thanks to his considerable talents as a physician that they managed barter his services for something to eat – Neither Gaius or Merlin had thought to pack any spare clothes or food; both had been expecting the trip to the Isle of the Blessed to be a one way ticket, so it was understandable.

Once the villagers had discovered that Gaius was a travelling physician and Merlin his nephew –For this was the story they told – they had warmed up considerably. Though some still whispered that it was strange to see such a bedraggled young man on such a fine horse and made sly comments to him on the subject, the inference being that he had stolen it- Which was technically true. In his haste to catch up with Gaius, Merlin had dashed to the stables and, being only a servant thus not having a horse of his own, taken Arthur's. Obviously he hadn't told the villagers this – Instead he had cooked up some story about having won it in a wager with some drunk old Knight when they had stopped at an Inn in Camelot one night, he wasn't sure they believed this version of events either but it stopped them badgering him about it.

Now as he rode back through the shadowy gate he felt a warm sinking feeling in his stomach, it was hard to place exactly what it was. He was overwhelming glad to be in Camelot again after all this time – He had been gone nearly three weeks – It felt like coming home again. Another part of him was knotted in worry, Arthur was going to be angry…No angry was far too mild a word, he was going to livid with Merlin for stealing his horse and disappearing without warning or any indication of where he was going. As they slid under the arched gateway Merlin stole a glance at Gaius, he looked equally troubled, not doubt considering the reaction he was likely to get from Uther.

The courtyard looked just the same as when they had left, the great silken red banners still draped from the battlements and balconies, undulating in the slight breeze so that the golden, embroidered dragon; the Pendragon crest, seemed alive. The sheer stone walls were still dotted with latticed lead and glass windows, several of which were open, fine gossamer curtains billowing out from them into the courtyard. A movement caught Merlin's eye as he gazed upwards at the windows, but when his eyes came to rest on the place there was nothing to be seen; it was probably just a servant rushing down one of the many passages that wove their way around the immense castle he told himself, and made no more of it... Though why did he feel such unease? ...Like he was being watched by unfriendly eyes.

"Are you coming Merlin?" Gaius weary voice drifted back to him over the courtyard.

"Y-Yes…" Merlin supplied, glancing at the dark and empty window one last time before gently touching the sides of his horse and turning it towards the stables, it seemed to know the way, and pulled eagerly on reins knowing that soft hay and sweet oats awaited it inside.

Merlin slid from the horse's back with a slight groan, his body ached all over from days spent in the saddle, and his chest –Where Nimeuh had hit him with a ball of magical flame- was still burnt raw, and pained him when he made any sudden movement. Gaius had done all he could and carefully bandaged the burn, but as Gaius had also pointed out, it was thanks to Merlin's magical abilities that he had even survived the curse at all and all he could do was make a token effort to help; it was already healing well on its own.

"I'd better return Arthur's horse to it's stall" Merlin said quietly to Gaius.

"Yes – I suppose you had better" Gaius agreed, his lips drawing into a thin line of disapproval, he hadn't been best pleased when he had realised just what horse Merlin had taken – The Crowned Princes best charger would not have been his first choice, but at the time Merlin hadn't had a lot of choice or time to think so had just grabbed the first one he came across.

"I'll see you back in our chambers" Merlin said, quickly backing away once he saw Gaius's expression; he didn't need another telling off about it, he'd had one already.

Merlin patted the brown warhorse's neck and spoke to it softly as he walked it slowly down the length of the stables, it showed the quality of the beast that it did not even seem tired after its long journey – Though Merlin was practically feather light compared to Arthur in full armour, so it had probably enjoyed the change. The stall door swung open with a high pitched squeak that split the quiet stable block and made several of the other occupants complain in quiet whinnies and much shuffling of hooves.

He was just reaching down to undo the saddle buckle when a voice in his ear made him jump; he hadn't realised anyone else was there, let alone so close to him.

"I'll take the Prince's horse shall I?" a sallow skinned man with long tangles of mousey blond hair was leaning lazily against one of the open stall doors with his arms folded across his chest.

"Oh – Er" Merlin began, not sure how to react to this strangers arrival - He wasn't anyone Merlin had ever seen before, and he thought he had know most of the other servants in the castle by sight, even if he had never spoken to them in person. "Nah, it's ok – He's used to me. A stranger might spook him, I wouldn't want you to get kicked... Thanks though... You know for the offer" He said with a smile and turned back to finish unfastening the saddle. He had expected the stranger to turn and leave at that point, but he didn't, Merlin could feel him watching him still and it made him uneasy. "Er- Can I help you with anything?" he enquired swivelling back to the mousey haired man "Oh- Thanks" Merlin added as the stranger proffered a brush.

"Not really" the stranger said swinging his arms and taking as small step forwards "I was just curious is all – You must be Merlin."

"…Yeah that's me" Merlin said taking a small step backwards so he wasn't quite so close to the stranger, though it didn't make much difference as they only took another step forwards, bringing them back as close together as they had been.

"I've heard a lot about you from Arthur" they continued.

"Oh – Um… All good… I hope?" Merlin laughed nervously, edging backwards a little more. What did this guy want with him…How did they know Arthur? The stranger didn't answer that but smiled strangely at him instead, it wasn't a particularly friendly expression, more of a smirk crossed with a snarl. "How do you know Arthur?" Merlin asked suspiciously not liking the expression "I've not seen you around here before…" There was a loud bang at that precise moment which caused Merlin, and the horse, to jump. The sudden movement caused a wave of pain to explode from his chest so he staggered sideways grabbing the stall to steady himself and clutched the front of his shirt as if that would stop it hurting so badly. "Arthur!" Merlin said in as bright and innocent a voice as he could muster through the stinging pain that threatened to bring tears to his eyes.

"MERLIN – Where the hell have you been?" Arthur demanded as he slammed the stall door open.

"…Been?" Merlin wheezed, stalling for time – He hadn't been expecting to come across the Prince this soon so hadn't really come up with a cover story yet.

"Been" Arthur repeated slowly as if Merlin was stupid and needed it repeating so he understood. Arthur then ran a critical eye up and down Merlin's ragged form "What on earth have you been doing? – You're a complete mess! Is that burnt?" He then asked wrinkling his nose and pointing at Merlin's shirt.

"Er- I got lost" Merlin said lamely.

"You got lost?" Arthur demanded incredulously "Lost? Lost where?"

"Well I don't know – I was lost, if I did know I wouldn't have been lost would I"

Arthur opened his mouth to reply then seemed to catch sight of the stranger who was skulking quietly in one corner of the stall, his expression showing rapt attention as if he was enjoying this argument immensely.

"Cedric" Arthur addressed him "See to my horse" he ordered tersely.

"I'm doing it!" Merlin said quickly as the stranger who he now knew was called Cedric stepped forwards to wrestle the brush from Merlin grip.

"No – Cedric will do it" Arthur said matter-of-factly as Cedric tried to prise Merlin's fingers from the brush "Look at you – You can't even look after yourself why would I trust you with my horse? – Which by the way, it was nice of you to steal, I could have you hung for that you are aware?"

Merlin didn't reply but looked down at the straw and mutely handed Cedric the brush, which he snatched from Merlin's hand with a gleeful smile – Just like a child a with candy bar.

"I'll see to it, Sire" Cedric said with a small bow "Right away, Sire. You can count on me, Sire" bobbing his head again, so he looked like a pigeon. Arthur must have seen Merlin's lip curl in distaste because he soon carried on with his tirade.

"You could learn a lot from Cedric – I need servants I can trust and rely on, not ones that steal my best horse and disappear to God only knows where and then roll back in weeks late looking like they have been to hell and back"

"I brought it back!" Merlin said defensively "I only needed to borrow it!"

"What for? What on earth did you-"At this point Arthur poked Merlin full in the

chest, causing another wave of pain and nausea to sweep over him. "Need a..." Arthur paused at that point having seen that Merlin had turned distinctly pale. "…Are you hurt?"

"No" Merlin said a little too quickly and pulled his shirt tattered tighter around his neck so that Arthur couldn't spy the bandages concealed beneath, but it was too late Arthur had already spotted the flash of blood stained white gauze.

"Oh no?" Arthur said grabbing Merlin's arm and slammed him against the wall then dragged up Merlin's shirt to reveal the stained bandages that were blooming with new patches of bright red blood. "Then what's that?" Arthur asked sarcastically, roughly letting go of Merlin's wrist. "Don't lie to me Merlin! – Just tell me where you have been and what the hell happened to you!" he demanded "You don't get injuries from just getting 'lost'- We all thought you were dead you idiot – Morganna has hardly said a word since you have been gone, all she does is sit in her room and stare at the wall and Guinevere has been crying her eyes out fretting over you and her mistress!" Arthur faltered, seeming to have finally run out things to yell at Merlin for, and because Merlin was growing increasingly paler by the second.

"I didn't mean to make you worry…" Merlin said quietly staring at the straw covered floor.

Arthur sighed exasperatedly, but made no comment, he could have claimed he didn't care either way but it would be a waste of breath. "Merlin you just don't think" he breathed shaking his head. "Go get yourself cleaned up, then you can go apologise to Gwen and Morganna – We'll talk more about this tomorrow, by which time you will be ready to tell me just what you have been doing" he added folding his arms across his chest and stepping back from the doorway to let Merlin past. Merlin didn't move towards the door but instead looked back at Cedric who was still quietly grooming away. "Cedric can take care of the horse" Arthur repeated reading his thoughts.

"Alright…" Merlin finally agreed though he wasn't happy about it, neither was the horse for that matter; it kept shying away from the brush and huffing. There was just something about Cedric that made Merlin's hair stand on end; his cold blue eyes were always flicking around and he never seemed to look at you quite straight – It was just creepy, there was no other word for it. "I'll be at work tomorrow" Merlin added pulling his jacket tighter around his chest.

"No need – Cedric can handle it" Arthur said dismissively.

"I'll be at work tomorrow" Merlin repeated firmly.

"No Merlin – You won't" Arthur said in a tone that suggested his decision was final. He gave Merlin a sideways glance; he looked dead on his feet and like he wasn't far from fainting at the moment.

"You're sacking me?" Merlin demanded, grabbing the door frame to steady himself.

"No – You're having a holiday" Arthur said pointedly.

"But I don't want a holiday!"

"Well you're having one – Don't Argue" Arthur told him. Merlin opened his mouth and was about to argue, but instead he shut it again.

"Sire" he said stiffly before turning away. Arthur watched him go with a dubious expression; Merlin wasn't exactly steady on his feet at this point. Arthur saw him stagger once and found himself stepping forwards involuntarily to help, but Merlin soon righted himself and disappeared around a corner out of sight. With a sigh Arthur shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"Merlin, Merlin" He muttered to himself.

"Sire?" Arthur jumped, he had forgotten Cedric was even there, quickly recovering his composure he cleared his throated gruffly.

"Merlin – What an idiot" Arthur clarified quickly. "When you're done here you can muck out my other horses" he instructed Cedric, who bowed low and nodded enthusiastically as if mucking out the Princes horses was some sort of treat.

"Of course, Sire" he said in a simpering voice.

"Right –" Arthur said slowly, he wasn't all that keen on Cedric, his eyes were a little – Well creepy there was not other word for it, but his willingness to do any task put to him; more over with out complaint, made quite a change from Merlin's usual bellyaching. "I'll leave you to it then" Arthur said with a slight shrug and turned on his heel to stride away.

"As you wish, Sire" Cedric said scrapping low again "You know you can count on me Sire" he added in a low hiss at Arthur's retreating back.


	2. Chapter 2

_As requested, another chapter! Thanks for all the favs, and reviews, I love to read them =D_

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The passageway seemed cold and dim compared the warm evening sunlight that filled courtyard, brushing the stonework in gold and polishing the windows in silver so they gleamed and shimmered. Every sound echoed loudly, rebounding off the grey stone walls, tiled floor and barrelled, white washed ceiling. Few servants moved in this part of castle, most of it was empty, reserved for visiting guests and lesser nobles, who came for the various feasts and festivals, staged throughout the year, but could not be fitted in to the more comfortable suits of rooms at the heart of the castle. Most of the doors were shut and safely locked, though a few stood ajar in the hope of letting in any slight breezes that might drift down the corridor and clear the musty air, the furniture with in was hidden, draped in old sheets, to keep off the worst of the dust that invariably gathered on any flat surface.

Merlin's walked slowly over the tiles, running one hand lightly over the rough stone wall to his right, his legs felt like lead, his fingers were starting to go numb and his shoulders ached with exhaustion. Only now he was back home, safe and sound, did the full extent of his ordeal begin to sink in, the pain, fear and exhaustion he had somehow been managing to keep at bay over the last week swept over him in a sudden, nauseous, wave and he found himself shaking and sweating so much he had to sit down for a moment and rest his head between his hands while the world around him spun giddily. Images from the last few days began to stream before his eyes: Arthur's pale face, Morganna's wild eyes, the Dragons curled lip as it breathed its' fiery spell over him, but the one face that figured most prominently was that of Nimeuh. Her dark eyes and starling red lips smiled at him from his memories, making him feel even more sick, cursed as he was with the knowledge that it was him who had killed her.

Gritting his teeth he forced himself back to his feet with a lurch, and roughly pushed away the thought, Nimeuh had brought it upon herself when she had tired to take the life of his mother, he told himself tersely, he did what he had to, to save her and to save Arthur. Life without either of them would have been unbearable, there was no other choice. Still at the back of his mind a voice was whispering to him, repeating one word over and over again, murderer, it hissed.

The narrow spiral stair case that lead up to Gaius's chambers, seemed several times longer and steeper than it had been; every step was agony. Merlin finally arrived at the top panting and shivering and almost had to crawl the last few paces to Gaius's door on his knees, before straightening up stiffly and taking a few deep breaths to master himself. The last thing he wanted was for Gaius to see him in this sort of state, so he quickly straightening his clothes and ran a hand through his dark hair, which was currently plastered to his head with sweat, and tried to affect a friendly smile that didn't look too strained before he gingerly placed a hand on the doors smooth wood, and pushed. It swung smoothly inwards, squeaking shrilly on its hinges to announce his presence.

"Ah, here he is now" Gaius said brightly just as Merlin appeared in the door frame. Merlin smiled and lifted a hand in response to Gaius's greeting before letting his eyes sweep across the familiar room, over the many heaps of old leather bound books, that littered the desks and workbenches, along the with the clutter of Gaius's medical supplies, comprising a varied selection of pills, herbs and potions arranged between the jumble of equipment used to prepare them all. How Gaius knew where everything was, was a mystery to Merlin, he presumed there was some form of ordering, to what otherwise, looked like a complete mess.

His eyes roved on until they came to rest on something he had not been expecting, something out of place; Gwen's wide eyed stare. Merlin froze, unsure what to do, no one moved for an awkward moment, where the only sound was a shrill whistle of wind whipping through a crack around one of the flaking window frames, until Gwen suddenly broke the stillness by letting out a small cry and running over to Merlin to throw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, Merlin. We were so worried…" She breathed, her eyes were red and bloodshot from crying, even now fresh tears were beginning to roll down her cheeks. She missed the sharp intake of breath as Merlin reeled from the pain her embrace had caused to explode from his raw chest, but didn't try and pull away. "I thought you were dead" Gwen continued breathlessly, hugging him tighter still until he could hardly breathe and his eyes watered from the pain. "I mean we all did" she added quickly, realising what she had just said and pulled away from him, suddenly blushing as she turned away to cuff the tears from her eyes. Merlin took the chance to pull his shirt closer round his neck, if she saw the blood stained bandages there would be a lot of explaining to do, and he wasn't sure he could bring himself to lie to Gwen.

"I'm sorry Gwen" Merlin said softly, still clutching his singed shirt collar around his neck, her tears on his behalf had immediately made him feel guiltily "I wasn't thinking" he muttered.

"Oh! You don't have to apologise" she said quickly, still dabbing at her tears with an already soaked corner of her sleeve. She smiled bravely and shook her head slightly, as if to say she was just being silly. "It's… It's just I'm glad to see you… A-alive and well…Well, not well…You don't normally look this bad - I mean you normally look a lot better than this – Not that I notice you look good" She tried to correct herself, back peddling madly.

"Here" Gaius said kindly, interrupting her frenzied justifications by handing her a lace edged handkerchief.

"Thank you" she said smiling and taking it from him to continue furtively dabbing at her eyes. "If you think I'm bad you should have seen Arthur" she smiled feebly at her own joke.

"Really? I thought Arthur was supposed one of those rough, tough save the world kind of guys." Merlin said grinning and playing along with the joke.

Gwen gave him a strange look in response to that; making Merlin wonder what he had said, and opened her mouth, about to reply, but was interrupted by a sharp knock on the open door before she could respond.

Morganna stood in the doorway, her long hair lay loose about her shoulders, looking tangled and wild. The dark rings under her eyes made it look as if she had hardly slept that night, or for several nights before that even. Every angle of her pose spoke of her weariness, yet above the dark circles her eyes were bright, wild, never lingering in one place for long, for all the world she looked like a wounded animal that had finally been cornered.

"Ah, Morganna" Gaius greeted her genially, though clearly a little surprised by her presence "What can I do you for you?" he asked as she stepped tentatively into the room, hands clutching her white fur stole. Word of Gaius's return seemed to have spread quickly thought Merlin, gossip could spread like wild fire with in the court, then again they had been back within the walls for less than an hour, and to the nobles that frequented the court surely the return of the Court Physician and his scruffy protégé could hardly be of much account – Perhaps she had met Arthur and he had told her?

"I need some more of the sleeping draught you prepared for me" She addressed Gaius directly, with out even glancing at Gwen, or Merlin who had raised a hand in greeting, but slowly let it slip back down again as it became clear he was being ignored. Confused by Morganna's uncharacteristic coldness, he raised a quizzically eyebrow at Gwen, who just sighed quietly and looked down at her shoes as she shook her head ever so slightly, so that only her dark curls bobbed.

"More?" Asked Gaius, a little taken aback by the request. "I left you enough for several weeks at least" he said, bushy grey eyebrows rising in surprise and concern "Surely you-".

"It's the nightmares" she shot quickly, cutting him off mid sentence "They are getting worse. Nothing seems to stop them…" She trailed off into silence, her bottom lip trembling slightly. Gaius stared at her for a moment, before his expression softened and he rubbed a weathered hand across his face before nodding slowly, then bustling off to the back of his chambers where he opened the doors of a small, dark wood, cabinet that was full of small bottles and vials. He ran a gnarled finger along each of the dusty shelves; scanning the scrawling writing on the labels. Occasionally the sounds of chinking pot and glass could be heard as he rearranged some of them with quiet tuts and mutters of "What's that doing there". Eventually, he found what he was looking for and fished a small, blue, glass bottle, with a large cork stopper down from the top shelf, dusted a spindly legged spider of it, and returned to Morganna.

"Here" Gaius said shaking the bottle so the pills inside it rattled "Take one of these each night, just before you go to sleep. Just the one mind" he said warningly as her hand darted forward to grab the bottle from him. "Understand?" Morganna froze for a moment, hand still outstretched towards the bottle, then nodded stiffly to show her comprehension. Gaius scanned her pale face searchingly, before nodding himself and relinquishing the bottle, which Morganna hurriedly snatched from his hand and clutched to her breast as if she feared Gaius might change his mind and take it back off her.

"Thank you" she said faintly, opening her tightly clenched fist slightly so she could see the little bottle, as if wanting to check it was still there. With out any further words to Gaius she turned on her heel and strode towards the open door, for a moment it looked like she would walk straight out without even recognising Merlin or Gwen's presence, but she stopped just shy of the door frame and glanced back over her shoulder to where they stood quietly; both some what bewildered by the exchange that had just taken place.

"Merlin" Morganna said quietly fixing him with her unnerving stare and with a slight smile that didn't reach her eyes "I knew you'd be back." She held his gaze for a moment longer before swiftly tearing it away to stare straight ahead, so she was no longer looking at anybody when she said "Come Gwen. Let Merlin have his rest." and swept from the doorway in a flurry of sapphire blue skirts, soft white fur and flowing lilac fabric.

Gwen stood silently, still staring at her shoes, torn between staying with Merlin and obeying her mistress. Sensing her dilemma Merlin lightly touched her arm "It's Ok Gwen" he said smiling "I'm fine". Gwen hovered a moment longer in indecision, glancing from Merlin, to the empty doorway beyond him, and back again, before shuffling her feet slightly and bowing her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" Gwen said clutching the edge of her apron between her hands "If… if that's alright of course" she added hurriedly "I wouldn't want to impose."

"You know always welcome here Gwen. When ever you like." Merlin said with a sincere smile.

"I'm glad you're back" Gwen repeated, fondly squeezing Merlin's arm and smiling up at him before releasing him and trotting across the flag stone floor to nip out the door and follow her mistress. Her quick foot falls could be heard echoing down the spiral staircase and then retreating down passage beyond until they gradually faded away all together.

"I'm going to bed" Merlin announced with a sigh and rubbed his tired eyes "Don't wake me unless the castle is on fire"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Gaius asked peering up at Merlin, who already had his foot on the first step "Or rather someone…" He added too quietly for Merin to hear him. When Merlin looked nonplussed, Gaius returned to dusting off one of the large leather tomes and held it out at arms length so he could read the crinkled gold writing on its spine. "It'll come to you I'm sure" he said smirking slightly in amusement as he put the book down and moved on to the next one.

"Yes…" Merlin rolled his eyes slightly, he wasn't in the mood for Gaius's cryptic clues, his brain was too tired to think straight anymore "Really helpful…Between you and that Dragon… Night" he said waving one hand behind him at Gaius as he continued unsteadily up the stairs. Before he could reach it the door was pulled open suddenly and what Gaius had been referring to became quite clear. Ah. Yes he had forgotten about her… He winced guiltily to himself, what sort of son forgets about their mother?

"Merlin!" his mother cried, as she held a hand out too him. "What have you been doing to yourself? Gaius told me what you were going to do!" He took her proffered hand and she pulled him closer and ruffled his hair. "How could you risk so much for me?"

"You're my mother, all my powers mean nothing if I can can't save you" he murmured blearily as she began fussing over him and gasped when she caught sight of the bandages. "It's not serious" he assured her, though he wasn't entirely sure about that, he wasn't going to tell her otherwise.

"What were you thinking? Oh my stupid…Brave, brave boy" she whispered pulling him into a tighter embrace and stroking his sweat soaked hair. "Gaius?" She called over Merlin's head.

"Yes Hunith?" Gaius appeared round the corner of the staircase, leafing through a small, green backed book this time.

"Can you bring me some water and bandages? I want to redress Merlin's wound"

"Right" He disappeared from view, but could be heard scuffling around in his cupboards, seeking the items Hunith has asked for.

"No, no it's ok. Really. I can't even feel it anymore" He smiled bravely and straightened up to prove his point, some how managing to keep himself from grimacing at the pain.

"I'm your mother. You're not fooling me" She regarded him sceptically "I hurts doesn't it?" She fixed him with her honest gaze and he found himself nodding. She laughed quietly and stroked a loose strand black hair off his forehead "You boys are all the same" she said leaning forward to place a kiss on his brow. "I have had plenty of practice patching you up over the years".

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_Thanks for all the reviews 3333 I'm glad you like the story so far. More soon!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A new chapter for you all =3 Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favs - Glad to know you are all enjoying reading this =D_

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"You look terrible" Gaius said as he slopped a ladle full of lumpy porridge in Merlin's bowl.

"Really?" Merlin said, rubbing the dark circles under his eyes "Because I feel great"

"Lair" Gaius muttered as he splashed a second ladle full down on top of the first.

"I'll be fine" Merlin insisted "Not like there's anything I have to do anyway. I'm on _'holiday'_" he mimicked Arthur's tone and moodily pushed the congealed lumps around his bowl.

"Holiday?" Gaius asked sounding a little alarmed "You saw Arthur already? What did you tell him?"

"I told him I got lost" Merlin answered bluntly and truthfully, realising just how bad his excuse sounded now. At the time it had seemed quite plausible to him, he actually got lost quite often when wandering around the castle, though that wasn't really his fault he thought stabbing at the lumps a little more violently, crushing them under his spoon. The servants passages were a rabbit warren, full of twists and turns and little doors that lead to even more twists and turns and staircases; not to mention the fact it all looked the same, one twisting corridor of cold grey stone looked a lot like another, especially when dimly lit, like they always were.

He had gotten lost in the forest of a couple of occasions too, but again, one tree looked a lot like another, and when he was being used as live bait, to help lure out any of the assorted nasties that Arthur so loved to hunt, it was hardly surprising that he wasn't too concerned about direction, and more concerned about being eaten. Still saying it again to himself now, it was little wonder that Arthur hadn't believed him; Gaius's expression also showed his dismay at the feeble attempt at deception. "It was the best I could come up with" Merlin said, trying to defend himself.

"Apparently" Gaius said dryly. "For someone with a secret as dangerous as yours, Merlin, you're a very bad lair." It was hard to say whether that was a compliment or an insult, so Merlin just shrugged and went back to half heartedly stabbing at the lumps in his dish. Gaius sighed and tapped the table with one of his gloved hands; "Well" he said after a short pause "It's not as bad as it could have been".

"Arthur didn't believe me"

"Oh" Said Gaius lightly, then "Oh" as what Merlin had said dawned on him fully. "That is a problem"

"And he wants me to come and explain to him where I was…"

"What are you going to tell him?"

"The truth" Merlin said slamming down his spoon with a clatter, his porridge less lumpy than it had been, but otherwise untouched.

"You can't" Gaius told him firmly.

"Why not?" demanded Merlin folding his arms over his chest, the motion causing him to wince slightly in pain. "He's my friend – I'd trust him with my life".

"Yes and that's exactly what you would be doing – But you know how the King feels about magic. You can't let Arthur know about your gifts, if he ever found out he would have to arrest you or defy his father, and the laws of Camelot. Think about the position that would put him in, would you really make him choose between you and his father?" Gaius asked, already knowing the answer. "No one can know about you Merlin, for their good and yours" he added more kindly.

"It feels like I'm living a lie" Merlin said more quietly, staring down at his grubby finger nails where they rested on the edge of the rough wooden table. Gaius did not respond to that straight away, instead he just rose from his bench and patted Merlin roughly on the shoulder.

"One day" he promised vaugley "One day the time will be right".

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"Come" Arthur answered the knock at his door. "Ah – Merlin" he said recognising the figure loitering in his door way "Didn't get lost on the way here I take it" he added sardonically, placing his goblet back down on the table and he beckoned Merlin into the room.

"No, Sire"

"Good – Then I take it you're here to tell me where exactly you went gallivanting off to" Arthur said, folding his arms across his chest as he leant against the side of his high backed wooded chair. "Let's hear it then" he prompted, noting Merlin's reluctance. After consulting with Gaius earlier that morning Merlin finally had what sounded like a convincing story; between them they had built on his foundation of 'getting lost' and had embellished it to the point where it now seemed quite plausible.

"I got a message from my Mother" Merlin began.

"Your Mother" Arthur repeated sceptically "…Right. Go on"

"It said she was very ill and wanted me to come and see her" Merlin carried on as if Arthur hadn't interrupted him.

"But your Mother is here… In Camelot. I've seen her." Arthur interrupted him again.

"Yes" Merlin said slowly "Thing is I misread the message she sent me. It said she wasn't very well and that she was coming to see _me_, not that I should come and see _her_"

"You couldn't read a simple message" Arthur was torn between scorn and disbelief, then again Merlin was a servant, so it was entirely possible he couldn't read Arthur reflected a little guiltily. Generally only nobles were taught their letters, servants and the lower orders were purposefully kept in ignorance, the teaching of reading and writing being strictly frowned upon, so that most servants couldn't read or write anything beyond their own name, the idea being that this way they couldn't happen upon any private document left laying around and then share any of their masters secret; it was also partly so that they didn't get ideas above their station. It was not a practice Arthur was particularly fond of, but it was one that had been around since before even his father's time. "You can read… Can't you?" Arthur asked.

"Yes I can read" Merlin said a little affronted "It's her writing, it's terrible, it could say anything" he fished the fabricated note out of his shirt pocket, his mother had hastily scribbled it for him that morning, in her untidiest scrawl, so that he would have props to go with his display, and held it out to Arthur. After a slight pause he took it and scanned the contents, his eyebrows creeping closer together with every line he read.

"I see what you mean" he said when he was done and handed it back, where upon Merlin folded it up again and returned it to his breast pocket. "But that still doesn't explain why you took my best horse, or why it took you so long to bring it back, or why you came back in the state you did" he added stubbornly, still demanding the full story.

"You see" Merlin fished the note out of his pocket again and unfolded it to point out one particularly smeary paragraph. "I thought it said _'I'm dying'_" he tapped the note with one of his fingers, and Arthur leaned closer to inspect it. "Turns out it actually says _'I'm trying'_" The line of text in question was a little ambiguous; Arthur had to agree on that point. "So I just grabbed the first horse I came to – She's my mother" he shrugged.

"Alright" Arthur said accepting that without further question. "And the rest?"

"Well when I got there, she wasn't, I asked someone where she was and they said she had gone to Camelot to find me. So I turned around to come home"

"Obviously, and…" Arthur prompted him to go on.

"I was attacked by brigands in the night-" This was the point where Merlin had wanted to add an epic battle where he had single handedly defeated a band of at least twenty cutthroat brutes, using just his bare hands and a length of string from his pocket, _'We want it to be believable Merlin'_, Gaius had chided him. "They wanted your horse-" Unable to help himself, Merlin left a dramatic pause before continuing "It was dark, and after a brief scuffle I managed to grab your horse and get away…But I got off the trail, and got lost… Took me a while to find it again" he admitted with a sheepish grin and rubbed the toe of his scuffed boot on the flag stone floor.

"How may of these brigands were there?" Arthur cross questioned him.

"Oh – Er – Must have been at least five – No, six big burly men" Merlin said gesturing wildly with his hands to indicated just how big they had been. Arthur snorted, so that meant there had probably been two of them and they had crept up on Merlin when he was sleeping; he was lucky not have had his throat slit straight off Arthur thought his eye brows knitting themselves into a frown.

"They did that to you?" Arthur gestured at Merlin's chest. Merlin nodded, and Arthur sucked in a deep breath as he manoeuvred himself round to sit in his chair. "It's quite a tale" he said after a decent pause where he eyed Merlin levelly. For a minute Merlin feared Arthur had seen right through his little rouse, his palms began to sweat and he had to clench his fists to stop his fingers from twitching. "Always looking for new ways to get yourself killed aren't you" Arthur said finally, a slight smile playing around his lips as he picked up his goblet up again and swirled the contents around "I'm not sure you're safe to be let out on your own, infact -" he was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come!"

"Sire, I have taken your horse to the black smiths as you asked, I also took it upon myself to take your chainmail to him my lord, there were a few rings missing on the shoulder that need replacing" Cedric said in a simpering voice.

"Very good" Arthur said tonelessly. "Next you can exercise my dogs, and when you have done that you can get my jousting equipment out of storage in the armoury and see that all is in order with it, I want it all to be perfect for the tournament"

"Of course Sire, at once Sire" Cedric bobbed his head and began to reverse when he spied the cup in Arthur's hand "Shall I refill your goblet Sire?" he asked, scurrying forwards to grab the pitcher sat at the other end of the table. He almost reached it before Merlin stepped in front of him, blocking his path.

"It's ok, I've got it" Merlin said side stepping to block Cedric again, who had shuffled left trying to go round him.

"Merlin let the man do his job" Arthur said tiredly.

"But this is my job!" Merlin shot back.

"Not at the moment it isn't" Arthur reminded him "You're on holiday"

"How long is this holiday going to last?" Merlin asked, spinning round to face Arthur, his expression almost pleading. He had thought once he explained what had happened and where he had been that Arthur would reinstate him; apparently not.

"Until you look up to the job" Arthur said pointedly, Merlin still looked dreadful, his face was deathly pale which made the wide array of bruises and scratches stand out even more. From what Arthur had seen of his bandaged chest he knew full well that Merlin was in a worse state that he would admit, he needed to rest and recover, and if he wouldn't do that for himself then Arthur had no choice but to force him.

"Not even light duties? I could walk your dogs…" Merlin continued cajolingly.

"No Merlin" Arthur snapped. Then softened slightly seeing Merlin's hurt expression. "When your wounds are healed, then you can come back to work. Until then you're not much use to me. Cedric can handle it, so go get better, and leave it to him"

"You can count on me Sire" Cedric cut in silkily, having crept round Merlin to reach the pitcher. "Always happy to serve" he added pouring a trickle of blood red wine into Arthur's cup, his grey blue eyes fixed on Merlin. What could have been a slight sneer played around the corners of his mouth as he added "Until death".

***

_Next chapter on its way! Its half done already X3_


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